


Thunder and Lightning

by aroacewritingplace



Category: Phan
Genre: Cute, Fear, M/M, Panic, Thunderstorms, blackout - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7027324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroacewritingplace/pseuds/aroacewritingplace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's too dark, and there are too many feelings being spilled. Also the food's getting cold but no one cares about that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thunder and Lightning

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I'm not very good at this but... Dan sorta has a panic attack type thing?? Idk I feel I should put a warning in case any of you are scared of the dark/thunderstorms. Okay? <3

Rain cascaded down from the sky, coating the windows in a watery film too thick to see out of. The constant thrumming of the raindrops bored into Dan Howell's head until he couldn't think of anything but the rain, pounding into his skull.  
Dan pressed himself against the couch, slowly breathing in and out. His fingers rubbed against his t-shirt as he stared at the rain-covered window. His feet were up on the couch, his knees pulled up to his chest. Dan squeezed his eyes shut, focusing himself on the feeling of his t-shirt as he tried to block out the storm raging outside.  
“Dan?”  
Dan opened his eyes, looking towards the source of the voice.  
Phil Lester's head peeked out of the kitchen, where the soothing aroma of food made its way to Dan. His shoulders relaxed. His feet fell back flat to the floor.  
“Dan?” Phil asked again. “Are you alright?” Phil's glasses were slightly crooked, the tips of his jet-black hair falling over his eyes.  
As always, it took most of Dan's limited self control not to blush in the presence of his attractive friend. “Fine,” Dan muttered, looking down at his feet.  
“Good,” Phil said, smiling. “Well, food's almost ready.” He still had an air of concern about him, and he stared at Dan for a moment longer before turning away.  
“Mhm,” Dan gritted his teeth. Thunder boomed outside, and he flinched, biting his lip to keep from yelping. He tasted blood, and drew his knees back up to his chest, trembling slightly. He looked over to see if his Phil had noticed, he prayed he hadn't.   
–   
The black haired young man had already walked back into the kitchen, frowning. His eyebrows furrowed as he stirred the pot of soup cooking on the soup. Phil wanted so desperately to run and throw his arms around his friend, to comfort him, but he restrained himself.  
Besides, Phil had a sinking feeling that Dan wouldn't return the hug. The brown-haired man had been more reclusive than was normal for Dan lately.   
Phil carefully ladled the soup into two bowls. “Dan!” He yelled. “Food's ready. Come and-”  
Lightning cracked outside, followed by a series of sparks and pops.   
And then the apartment went dark.  
Phil heard a muffled scream, coming from the living room.  
Phil left the two bowls of steaming soup on the counter-top. He threw the ladle in the sink, and began to navigate his way towards Dan.  
–  
Immediately, Dan grabbed a throw pillow, stuffing it over his face. He began to tremble, his fingers twitching as he covered his face. Dan breathed in and out in shaky breaths, his chest rising and falling.   
Footsteps loomed closer and closer. Thunder boomed overhead, filling the room with its terrifying sound.  
“Dan.”  
Dan peeked out from behind his pillow, his shield. “Phil, I-”  
“Are you alright?” The older man asked, concerned. The flashlight in his hand shone brightly on the ground illuminating both of their faces in shadow.   
Dan bit his lip, and again tasted blood. “I'm fine.” He looked down at the couch, twisting the hem of his shirt in his fingers.  
Lightning seemed to strike down just next to their flat, lighting up the room with a ghostly light. Phil could see Dan's face clearly for a brief second. Dan's face was stretched tight with fear, his eyes wide like they might jump out of his head.  
Phil grabbed a blanket and sat down next to Dan. Pulling the blanket over both of them, he wrapped his arms around Dan, drawing him close.   
“You're scared of storms, aren't you?” Phil whispered in Dan's ear.   
Dan pushed his hair out of his eyes, struggling to move his arms from Phil's embrace. “A little,” he admitted.  
Phil pulled him even closer, so that Dan's head rested on his shoulder. “Why didn't you tell me?”  
“It's just a stupid fear from when I was a kid. Can't shake it.” Dan muttered.  
Thunder crashed outside, and Dan shivered. “You probably think I'm just a scared little kid. An idiot,” he said bitterly.  
“No, not at all!” Phil exclaimed. His eyes were just beginning to get used to the dark, and Phil was beginning to pick out the little things in the dark, like the corners of tables, and the edge of the television. Phil flicked the flashlight back on, casting shadows across their bodies.   
Dan lifted his head slightly. “R-really?” He said, stuttering slightly as thunder and lightning seemed to shake the building.  
“Yeah. It's actually kind of... cute,” Phil said.  
Dan stared at him, wide-eyed. “Cute?” He whispered hoarsly, his voice barely audible over the storm.   
“Uh-huh,” Phil breathed. Just like you. He thought.  
“Just like me?” Dan repeated, his voice a little louder. His fingers loosened their grip slightly on the pillow he clutched in his hands.   
Phil swore under his breath. “Did I say that out loud?”  
“You think I'm cute?” Dan squeaked, his breathing growing funny for a moment. His heart pounded as all thoughts of the storm faded into the background, and they all centered on Phil. Phil, sitting in the dark with him, under a blanket with him, the glow of the flashlights making it appear as if he was blushing-  
A dangerous thought crept into Dan's mind. “Is this a trick?” He asked warily, his mind coming to the worst conclusion. “Just to get my mind off the rain?” As soon as he said those words, the never-ending torrent of rain again began to hammer against his skull.  
“What?” No,” Phil said. “I mean, I wish it was,” he rambled. “Because everything was so much simpler when I could- I could just pretend I didn't have a crush on you-” He broke off, turning his head. He stood up, throwing the blanket off himself. “I need to... I need to use the bathroom.” He dropped the flashlight on the couch and walked away.  
“Phil...” Dan said weakly, closing his eyes as the footsteps receded.   
The rain grew louder in his mind, the thunder sounded like it was roaring right overhead, and the lightning seemed that it was about to strike down right into the flat.  
Dan gripped the pillow tighter, covering himself with the blanket.   
“It's okay.” He whispered into the pillow. “It's not real. It's not real.”  
–  
Phil paced about in the darkened bathroom, pressing his fingertips to his forehead.   
How could he have been so stupid? Dan was sure to hate him now. At the very least, this would create awkwardness between them.   
He breathed in and out, slow and steady. Perhaps Dan did, in fact, return his affections. There was a chance of that, right?  
Right?  
A short sob sounded from the living room. At that moment Phil disregarded everything stupid he had just revealed, his heart was only centered on one thing, taking care of one person.  
“Dan.” He whispered breathlessly, racing from the dark bathroom.  
–  
The sound of the thunder was getting louder, Dan was sure of it.   
Tears dripped down his face. Had he been a little less shell-shocked, a little more capable of speech, he wouldn't be alone, he'd be less scared of the storm. He always felt better around Phil.  
Dan covered his ears tightly with the blanket, attempting to block out the noise. An accidental sob escaped his lips.  
It didn't work. The rain continued to cascade down from the dark sky, burrowing into his head. Thunder continued to roar, making a sound like a hundred bowling pins being knocked over. Dan squeezed his fists shut, wishing he were braver, wishing he was smart enough not to fear the thunderstorm, this long, seemingly never-ending storm.  
Phil collapsed on the couch next to Dan, throwing his arms around him. “I'm sorry!” He whispered into his ear, covering himself with the blanket Dan had wrapped himself in. “I was being stupid, and selfish, but Dan, Dan, I love you, and I let my feelings get the best of me, I'm so sorry Dan.”  
Dan sniffed, but didn't say anything for a while. He leaned his head on Phil's shoulder. The storm raged on, but eventually Dan's tears subsided, and he relaxed slightly. Eventually he lay his head down in Phil's lap, but Phil, of course, didn't mind. He stroked Dan's hair softly, and they stayed like that for a while.   
After a while, Dan spoke.   
“Do you know how long I've been in love with you?” Dan said hoarsely. “For the longest time, I pushed it away. I was so sure... so sure you didn't love me.”  
“Dan...” Phil started to speak, but thought better of it. He simply leaned over and kissed Dan. And that was answer enough for him.  
The lights flickered back on.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!   
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated <3  
> tumblr: invisible-blurryface-ok  
> Thanks again!


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